


have your cake and eat it too

by keskasi, wingchestr



Series: have your cake [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Friends to Lovers, Gay Panic, Hand Jobs, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining, bro jobs, frat boy naruto, from the gay dude's pov, hot goth sasuke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-11
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-11-15 18:55:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,595
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18079046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keskasi/pseuds/keskasi, https://archiveofourown.org/users/wingchestr/pseuds/wingchestr
Summary: “What’s it like to give a blowjob?” Naruto asks.“Pretty easy,” Sasuke says. He doesn’t want Naruto to talk about blowjobs. He shifts a little on the bed. His face feels warm.“That’s it? Easy?”“What, you want details?”





	have your cake and eat it too

**Author's Note:**

> I co-wrote this with my girlfriend. Live your dreams, kids.
> 
> Disclaimer: This is not meant to be representative of real frat life in any way. Frats are definitely not this cool. Because Naruto is not in them.

 

They’re hanging out in Sasuke’s dorm room late on a Thursday night. They’d been studying, but now Sasuke is lying on his back on the bed, on his phone, and Naruto is sitting on the floor doing something on his laptop.

Sasuke has a single, with a TV and PS3 hooked up, so they hang out here more than at Naruto’s place. The frat house is always noisy, and Naruto’s roommate is really messy. They have a Wii there, but Mario and Luigi aren’t worth it.

Naruto bounces up onto the bed. “You know what we should do?”

Sasuke doesn’t look up from his phone. “No.”

“Watch porn.”

“Why the fuck would we do that?”

“I dunno. I’m bored. We do it at the frat sometimes.”

Sasuke looks up at him sharply. “You watch porn with your frat brothers?”

“Yeah. It’s like a thing.”

“That sounds gay.” Naruto’s fucking weird. Sasuke doesn’t want to watch porn with a straight dude. He looks back at his phone.

“What, are you too delicate to to watch porn?”

Sasuke sits up. “Fuck you, whatever.”

Naruto puts his laptop between them and hits play. Sasuke side-eyes him. Why the fuck did he already have it up? Sasuke kind of hates that Naruto knows he can rile him up so easily.

Sasuke’s never watched straight porn before. He’s never had the slightest desire to. There’s a blonde girl giving a blowjob to a man with a big cock. It’s a fine cock, but Sasuke’s not impressed. The dude looks like someone oiled him up and he has hairy thighs.

“What’s it like to get a blowjob from a guy?” Naruto asks.

Sasuke gestures to the screen. “Pretty much the same as getting one from a girl.”

“Have you ever gotten one from a girl?”

“No.”

The obscene sucking noises continue. Sasuke is so uncomfortable. Naruto watches this with his frat brothers. Do they get hard together? Is that a bro thing? Sasuke is not going to do it. Naruto can get hard on his own.

Sasuke is not going to think about Naruto getting hard.

“Are you turned on?” Naruto asks.

“No.” Sasuke does not look at Naruto’s crotch to see if _he’s_ turned on.

“Oh, is it because it’s straight porn?” Naruto grabs his laptop, and when he puts it back it’s playing explicit gay porn.

Two dudes are fucking. One of them is blonde. Sasuke wants to die.

“Better?” Naruto asks.

Sasuke doesn’t answer. He’s determined to get through this experience saying as little as possible. The guys onscreen are kissing now. He’s going to have a long talk with Naruto after this about what exactly straight allies are, and how forcing your best friend to watch porn is not good allyship.

“What’s it like to give a blowjob?” Naruto asks.

“Pretty easy,” Sasuke says. He doesn’t want Naruto to talk about blowjobs. He shifts a little on the bed. His face feels warm.

“That’s it? Easy?”

“What, you want details?”

“At the frat—”

“Everything you say about your frat makes me hate you.”

Naruto grins at him. He nudges Sasuke with his foot. Sasuke sighs. “I don’t know, it's wet. And...” He trails off. The guys onscreen are vigorously going at it. “Hot? I think it’s hot. I like it. I guess some people don't. But some guys don't go down on their girlfriends.”

“Right.”

They watch in silence for a bit. Sasuke bites his lip. He can’t ignore the fact that he’s getting a little turned on. And Naruto’s just sitting there. Was this some sort of stupid joke? What did he think would happen if he put on gay porn? Is he trying to get Sasuke turned on like, as a friend thing? Is this a message that he’s been too uptight recently?

He’s very aware of Naruto’s presence next to him. He keeps his eyes glued to the screen. Naruto’s being so _quiet_.

“Can I suck you off?” Naruto says.

Sasuke lets out a long, slow breath. “Yeah.”

Naruto slides to the floor and unbuttons Sasuke’s black skinny jeans. Sasuke watches from a different plane of existence as Naruto pulls out his cock and strokes it experimentally. He doesn’t look at Sasuke’s face.

Sasuke taps him with a socked foot. “Watch your teeth,” he says.

“Yeah,” Naruto breathes, and takes him into his mouth.

It’s far from expert. Naruto can’t keep up a steady pace, and he gags. A lot. It’s like he’s personally offended to discover his own gag reflex. But he’s not _shy_. His tongue and lips are everywhere.

Sasuke could give him pointers, but he’s too busy trying not to make any noise. Because as mediocre as it is, Sasuke’s shameful secret is that he’s half in love with his straight best friend. Naruto’s messy blonde hair between his thighs is an image he wants to sear into his brain.

When Sasuke comes, Naruto sort of chokes, but he swallows most of it. He sits back, his eyes darting between Sasuke’s face and his dick and the wall.

“Okay, well,” he says brightly. It sounds very fake. “It’s late. I should probably get going.” He grabs his laptop and backpack and he’s out the door.

Sasuke doesn’t move for a long time.

  


**last semester**

 

When Sasuke first sees Naruto in their bio class, he immediately clocks him as a hot straight dude he would never talk to. Naruto proves him wrong in their very first lab when he appears next to Sasuke out of nowhere and asks if he wants to be in the same group.

“I like your piercings,” Naruto says brightly at the beginning of lecture one day.

Sasuke blinks and pulls his earbuds out. “What?”

“Your piercings, man. They’re really cool.” Naruto points at his ears, as though Sasuke didn’t know where his piercings were.

“Thanks,” Sasuke says, pushing his bangs out of his face.

“What’s that on your shirt?” Naruto asks. “Is that a band?”

Sasuke looks down at his shirt. “Oh, yeah.”

“Cool,” Naruto says. “Is that what you’re always listening to in your headphones?”

“Sometimes.” He looks Naruto up and down. He’s wearing jorts, Tevas, and an orange puffer jacket, despite the weather. He’s got a necklace on that must have come from a tacky surf shop. His blonde hair looks like it’s never seen a comb. He’s _devastatingly_ hot.

“Did you want to talk about lab, or...?” Sasuke isn’t sure why Naruto is talking to him.

“Yeah,” Naruto says brightly. “Do you want to study together?”

Sasuke stares at him. “Why?”

“I study best with other people, and you seem like, really smart,” Naruto says.

Sasuke _is_ really smart, but he’s also a terrible student. He supposes it wouldn’t hurt. He shrugs. “Sure.”

They meet at the library a few days later.

“I listened to that band,” Naruto says. “The one on your shirt.”

“Oh.” Sasuke blinks at him. “What did you think?”

“They’re kinda good! I don’t know anything about music. I usually just listen to what’s popular. Or whatever my bros play in the house. I do love ABBA, though.”

“ABBA?” Sasuke says.

Naruto grins at him. “Yeah. My girlfriend in high school made me watch Mamma Mia. The musical? It’s really fun.”

The next time they meet at the library to study, all the tables are full.

“We can go to my dorm,” Sasuke says. “I live nearby and I have a single.”

“You have a single? Dude, that’s so cool.”

“It’s pretty cool,” Sasuke says. If Naruto calls him dude one more time Sasuke thinks he’s going to vomit.

“ _Sick_ setup,” Naruto says, when they get to Sasuke’s room and he sees Sasuke’s Playstation.“What do you play?”  

“I like Call of Duty. Horror games, sometimes.”

Naruto’s mouth forms a perfect O. Sasuke quickly looks back up at his eyes. “I _love_ Call of Duty,” he says. “Do you want to play?”

Sasuke raises an eyebrow. “Weren’t we going to study?”

“What, afraid I’ll beat you?”

“Hell no,” Sasuke says. He powers up the Playstation.

They get so little studying done that night that they have to go back to the library the next day.

“My frat’s having a party this weekend,” Naruto says, as they’re packing up their stuff. “You should come.”

“I hate frats."

Naruto looks genuinely disappointed. “Oh, okay.”

Sasuke sighs. He picks at his black nail polish. “Maybe,” he says.

Naruto beams at him. Sasuke does everything in his power to ignore how good it makes him feel.

  


**present**

 

After the blowjob (brojob?) Sasuke is expecting Naruto to be weird around him, or ignore him for a few days, or maybe even—his stomach swoops—want to talk about it? But no. He realizes the next day that it’s like it never happened at all.

Naruto is his usual loud, exuberant self, and Sasuke goes along with it and doesn’t say anything about what happened, because Naruto is his best friend and he really doesn’t want to talk about it.

Naruto invites him to a frat party the next weekend. It’s a nice sign that everything is normal. Sasuke should be pleased.

“Maybe,” he says, which is as strong a yes as he ever gives.

“Awesome!” Naruto holds out his hand for a fistbump and Sasuke reluctantly complies. “It’s gonna be lit!”

But then it’s Saturday night and Sasuke is really not looking forward to seeing Naruto be a straight frat boy around all his brothers. It's late, and cold, so he stays home. Surely Naruto won’t miss him.

Around 11:30, Sasuke gets a text.

**_Naruto >> _ **are you coming??

**_Sasuke >> _ **no

**_Naruto >> _ **how come :(

**_Sasuke >> _ **it’s cold and late

Naruto doesn’t respond, and Sasuke assumes that the conversation’s over and he’s gone back to having a fun time at the party. That’s fine. He scrolls through Twitter.

Around fifteen minutes later, there’s knocking on his door. Sasuke opens it to find Naruto standing there in his orange puffer jacket.

“Hey,” Sasuke says, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“The party was kinda boring, so I thought I’d see what you were up to!” Naruto pushes past him into his room without asking. Sasuke shuts the door behind him.

“Studying.”

“At midnight on a Saturday? Lame.” Naruto sprawls on Sasuke’s bed and folds his arms behind his head, grinning at him.

“Make yourself at home,” Sasuke says dryly.

“Come on, Sasuke.”

Sasuke heaves a sigh, as though he’s not thrilled to have Naruto in his space. “Okay. Fine. I guess we can play Call of Duty.”

“Sick!” Naruto bounces up and reaches for a controller.

They play for a while, sitting on the bed, and when they get bored of that, Sasuke puts in a horror game and Naruto commentates while Sasuke plays.

Naruto sighs loudly when Sasuke dies for the second time. “You kinda suck at this game, dude.”

Sasuke glares at him. “You think you could do better?”

“Nah. I don’t like horror games.”

Sasuke loads his save file.

“I’m horny,” Naruto says.

Sasuke looks at him. “I’m not watching porn with you again.” He never did wind up having that talk with him about allyship. It got kind of overshadowed by the _other_ thing Naruto did that night. Which was also not really typical allyship. Sasuke isn’t complaining, but.

“Okay,” Naruto says. “Are you turned on?”

Sasuke was not, but he is a little now that Naruto’s bringing this up. “No.”

“Oh. Okay.”

He plays in silence for a bit. Naruto is uncharacteristically quiet. Sasuke is paying so much attention to him that he accidentally dies again.

“Shit.”

“Wanna jerk off?” Naruto says.

What the fuck, Sasuke thinks. What the absolute fuck.

He wants to see Naruto’s dick.

“Sure,” he says.

Naruto pulls his dick out and Sasuke stares. It’s thick. His face is burning. Did Naruto really get hard in his pants watching Sasuke play video games? He feels like he’s having an out of body experience. He watches, mesmerized, as Naruto starts stroking himself.

“Are you just gonna stare?” Naruto says.

Sasuke is not going to whip his own dick out. He has standards. His standards are watching his best friend jerk off on his bed. He curses himself for wearing leggings tonight. They hide absolutely nothing.

“Wanna jerk each other off?” Naruto says.

“Don’t tell me you do that in your frat.”

“We don’t.”

Sasuke thinks about Naruto’s mouth on him and the way his tongue felt. He thinks about Naruto touching him again. “Okay,” he says. He’s very turned on. “Yeah. Yeah, okay.”

Naruto scoots closer and reaches for the waistband of Sasuke’s leggings, tugging them down over his hips so that he can wrap his hand around Sasuke’s cock.

_Fuck,_ Sasuke thinks. Naruto’s hand on him is good. _Fuck. Fuck! Goddamnit._

He touches Naruto’s cock, biting his lip so he doesn’t make a noise at what Naruto’s doing to him, and Naruto gasps a little, quickly glancing up at Sasuke and then back down. They get into a rhythm, and then it’s getting pretty _good_ , making heat shiver down Sasuke’s spine. Naruto sort of grabs at his hips, and Sasuke hikes a leg up over him so he’s straddling Naruto’s lap, and they’re fisting their _cocks_ together, breathing hard.

“Is this how you jerk off?” Sasuke asks, staring down at their hands moving together around both of them. _Fuck._

“Yeah,” Naruto says, staring at him. Sasuke can’t remember the last time a handjob made him feel like this. Or the last time he felt like this, period.

Naruto closes his eyes when he comes, his mouth falling open. Sasuke can’t stop staring at him. He gets come on Naruto’s shirt.

Afterwards, Sasuke stalks off into his ensuite bathroom to wash off his hand and when he comes back, Naruto is lying on his bed, looking like the dictionary definition of _satisfied_.

“I’m going to bed,” Sasuke says.

“Okay,” Naruto says. He doesn’t move.

“So you can leave.”

“Oh.” Naruto sits up. “Okay, sure.”

He leaves. Sasuke gets in bed and stares at the wall.

  


**last semester**

 

Sasuke doesn’t only go to the party because Naruto is hot. He likes Naruto. And weirdly, he doesn’t want to disappoint him.

He hasn’t been to a party since he was a freshman. He’s expecting Naruto to say hi to him and then ditch him within fifteen minutes, and then he will drink as much of the frat’s beer as he can and leave.

That is not what happens.

The frat house is noisy, crowded, and full of people Sasuke doesn’t know. He avoids the main room and makes his way into the kitchen, where he finds the alcohol.

Naruto finds him there about twenty minutes later and he’s immediately and obviously thrilled to see him.

“Dude! When did you get here! You didn’t come say hi!”

Naruto is a little drunk and a little flushed and he’s wearing a tank top with a tacky logo. Sasuke looks away so he won’t stare.

“It’s crowded,” he says.

“No kidding,” Naruto says. He grabs a six-pack of beer off the counter. “Do you like beer pong?”

Sasuke follows Naruto onto the back porch, where there’s a folding table set up with red solo cups.

“Sasuke’s here,” Naruto announces triumphantly to the boys who are standing around the table. He hands off the six-pack to one of them, who immediately gets to work setting up the beer pong. There’s a chorus of “hey, bro” and “cool” and “who’s Sasuke?”

Sasuke is really good at beer pong. He partners with Naruto, and the two of them absolutely crush the competition.

“You’re really competitive,” Naruto says, after Sasuke systematically demolishes Kiba and his girlfriend Hinata.

Sasuke’s high off the thrill of his victory. “So are you.”

They’re up against Choji and Shikamaru next, and Shikamaru gets a cheap shot in early in the round. Sasuke glares at him, chugs the beer, slams the cup down, and rolls his sleeves up. It’s on.

“Whoa, dude,” Naruto says, grabbing Sasuke’s bicep. “Do you work out?”

Sasuke’s distracted by Naruto’s hand on his arm and he messes up his shot. “What the fuck,” he says. “That your fault. You drink next.”

Naruto accepts his punishment happily. “You’re like, surprisingly buff.”

“I do judo.”

Naruto’s mouth falls open. “That’s so _cool_ ,” he says. “Can you show me some moves?”

He tugs Sasuke out onto the back lawn. “Alright, square up,” he says, putting his fists up.

Sasuke bursts out laughing. He’s a little drunk, and right now, this is the funniest thing he’s ever seen.

Naruto stares at him like he’s never seen him laugh before. Maybe he hasn’t.

“That’s not—you’re not—” Sasuke puts his hand over his face, still laughing. God. His best friend is an idiot.

“Well, come on, then, show me!”

His best friend. Huh.

Sasuke shows him a few moves. Naruto is starry-eyed.

“That’s awesome! Do you like, do tournaments or something?”

“I used to,” Sasuke says. “I’m in the judo club here. We do shows sometimes.”

“I’m coming to the next one,” Naruto decides. “When is it?”

Sasuke tells him the date and Naruto immediately puts it into his phone calendar. Sasuke feels kind of pleased.

“Naruto!” one of the frat guys hollers from the porch. “Mario Kart!”

“Bro!” Naruto hollers back. He turns to Sasuke. “Are you good at Mario Kart?”

“I’m the best,” Sasuke says.

He beats Naruto at Mario Kart, but Naruto beats him at Smash Brothers.

“Equals,” Shikamaru says from the couch, where he’s smoking a joint that he’s not sharing with anyone. “Two sides of the same coin.”

Later that night, they wind up out on the lawn again, lying on the grass. Sasuke tells him stuff about his family and his weird relationship with his older brother, things he’s never said out loud to anyone else before. Naruto tells him about growing up in foster care. They talk for several hours. They’re drunk. It’s nice. The dew from the grass seeps into Sasuke’s shirt.

He can hear frogs croaking in the distance. “Is there a creek nearby?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Naruto says. “We can really hear them in the spring. I love frogs. I _have_ some frogs. Want to come meet them?”

“What the fuck,” Sasuke says. “Sure. You have _frogs?_ ”

Naruto does have frogs. Three of them, in a large terrarium in his bedroom.

“Gamabunta, Gamakichi, Gamatatsu,” Naruto says, pointing to them in turn. “Say hi, guys.”

“Hi,” Sasuke says. “They’re nice frogs.”

Naruto beams at him. “Thanks.”

Sasuke points to Kiba’s empty bed on the other side of the room. “Are we keeping your roommate from going to sleep?”

The party has pretty much died down by now. Everyone is gone or passed out downstairs. It’s almost dawn.

Naruto laughs. “Nah. He went to his girlfriend’s place.”

Sasuke suddenly realizes that he’s alone with Naruto in Naruto’s bedroom. The bed is right there. Naruto is right here. Naruto’s jeans fit him very well.

Sasuke is drunk.

“Well, it’s late,” he says. “I should go.”

“Oh, okay,” Naruto says. “Yeah, man. I’ll walk you out.”

Sasuke doesn’t think he’ll get lost, but he doesn’t say so.

He grabs a six pack as they walk through the kitchen and carries it with him to the door.

“Are you taking that?” Naruto asks.

Sasuke just smirks at him. This is where he’d kiss Naruto, if Naruto wasn’t straight. He thinks he kind of likes being Naruto’s friend, through.

The next day, he sends Naruto a Snapchat of the stolen six pack with the caption _too much beer to drink by myself._

Naruto snaps him back immediately: _on my way!!!_

 

—

 

“What’s your type?” Naruto asks one day.

“My type?” That’s a weird question from Naruto. He mostly avoids talking about anything related to sex with Sasuke. Which makes sense. Sasuke gets it. Straight dudes get uncomfortable talking about stuff like that.

Naruto grins. “Yeah, like what type of girls are you into?”

Sasuke stares at him. He can’t be for real.

“Not girls.”

Naruto looks like his words just got physically caught in his throat. Sasuke’s a little smug to render him speechless for once.

“I’m gay,” he adds, like it’s really obvious. Which, to be fair, it is.

“Wow dude, that’s so cool,” Naruto says. “I’m an ally. My bro Neji is gay.”

“Oh, Neji,” Sasuke says dryly. “Of course. I know him through the secret gay network.”

He does know Neji, actually. They had a disastrous hookup freshman year and have avoided each other ever since.

“They have that,” Naruto says. “It’s called the Queer Alliance.”

“I would rather go to hell than go to the Queer Alliance.”

“Edgy.” Naruto pokes Sasuke’s leg with his foot. Sasuke feels a weird sense of relief that Naruto is still treating him exactly the same. “Neji’s the vice president.”

“Of course he is,” Sasuke mutters, looking back at his phone.

“So what’s your type, then?”

“I just told you.”

“No, dumbass, your type of guy.”

Sasuke looks at the buff blonde jock type sitting next to him and very carefully does not say, “you.”

“I don’t know,” he says. “Hot.”

“Oh,” Naruto says. “That makes sense, I guess. I like hot girls.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes. “No shit.” He’s seen Naruto make out with girls at enough parties to guess as much. Sasuke usually doesn’t stick around long after that. He doesn’t need to see anything more.

  


**present**

 

Sasuke shouldn’t have worried after the handjob thing, because afterwards, everything is still exactly the same. It’s like they never did anything. Because Naruto is straight, Sasuke reminds himself.

He’s straight. He’s very straight. Sasuke has seen enough proof of that. So either he does this with his straight friends, or he’s just experimenting, and both are bad. So Sasuke is not going to talk about it.

The next weekend, Naruto comes over again. Which is normal. Naruto comes over all the time.

“Let’s watch a movie,” he says, flipping through Netflix on Sasuke’s TV.

Sasuke shrugs. “You better not pick something dumb.”

Naruto puts on a movie and settles back against the wall. He brought some chips, which he eats loudly. One time he and Sasuke got in a fight about how Sasuke never has any snacks in his room, so since then, Naruto has learned to bring his own food if he wants any.

He offers Sasuke a chip. Sasuke takes it silently.

There are a lot of shirtless guys in this movie. _Interesting_ , Sasuke thinks. They’re sitting on Sasuke’s bed, and he’s already sort of anticipating something, because of what happened the last two times they hung out like this.

Naruto finishes the chips. He sort of leans into Sasuke’s shoulder and stays like that for a while.

Sasuke, despite himself, is getting more and more keyed up just from Naruto leaning into him and watching the stupid sexy movie that Naruto put on.

Naruto sits up and leans away from him.

_What?_ Sasuke thinks. He holds himself still. Did Naruto decide he doesn’t want to do anything? Is he going to _leave_?

Sasuke takes off his sweatshirt. He’s wearing a black tank top underneath. Naruto looks him up and down.

Sasuke’s wearing sweatpants, so it’s pretty obvious he’s getting hard. He’s furious about it.

Naruto stretches and pops his back, and when he sits back he puts his arm around Sasuke’s shoulders, so that Sasuke is kind of leaning into his side. Sasuke’s skin buzzes with the contact.

After a few moments, Naruto reaches over with his other arm and starts rubbing at Sasuke through his sweatpants. He doesn’t say anything. Sasuke stares hard at the TV. Naruto’s hand is so distracting that Sasuke can barely even see the shirtless men.

Naruto keeps doing it until Sasuke is fully hard, and Sasuke hates all of this. What does Naruto think he’s doing? Is this a _game?_ He’s not getting enough friction because Naruto’s just touching him through his pants. It’s frustrating and he’s _so_ keyed up now, on edge, Naruto’s hand stroking him through the fabric. He’d never pegged Naruto as a tease.

He shifts and straddles Naruto’s lap, the way he did last time, and starts grinding on him. Naruto is also hard. He holds onto Sasuke’s hips and looks up at him. Sasuke wants to kiss him so badly that he can feel it through his whole body.

_You’re his experiment_ , Sasuke reminds himself. But he keeps grinding down into Naruto, and Naruto’s grinding up into him, and it’s _good_ , and he wants _more._

He’s decided that he’s going to fucking make the most of Naruto being crazy before he snaps out of it and they go back to just being friends. He’s clearly insane himself, so he says, "Are you ever gonna fuck me or what?"

If Naruto wants to experiment, Sasuke might as well give him the full experience.

Naruto’s eyes go wide as saucers.

“Wh—do you want me to?”

“Obviously. Yeah.”

“Yeah, I mean—yeah,” Naruto says.

Yeah. Okay. God, they’re gonna do this. Sasuke really tries not to think too hard about it. Naruto has probably never done this before.

“You’re going to listen to me and you’re not going to rush,” Sasuke says.

“Geez, dude, okay,” Naruto says. “I know—”

“Shut up. Take your clothes off.”

They get undressed very quickly. It’s the first time they’ve been naked together. Sasuke tries not to dwell on it too much while also trying to remember every single detail.

He gets out a condom and lube from his nightstand. He throws the condom at Naruto’s chest.

“Put this on.”

“Why do you have this?” Naruto says.

Sasuke glares at him. “Why do you think?”

Naruto rolls the condom on, frowning. “You never told me you were hooking up with guys.”

“Why the fuck would I? Who did you think I was hooking up with?”

Naruto doesn’t answer, but he keeps frowning. Sasuke straddles him again and fingers himself open while Naruto watches, his eyes still huge.

“Can I—” he says.

“No.” Sasuke bats his hand away.

When he sinks onto Naruto’s cock, he keeps his eyes closed, focusing on the feeling.

“God, you’re thick,” he mutters.

Naruto’s hands are tight on his hips. “Sasuke.”

“Shut up. Don’t talk.”

He starts moving, fucking himself, holding on to Naruto’s shoulders. Naruto watches him wide-eyed, like he can’t believe this is happening.

Naruto flushes all down his neck when he’s turned on, Sasuke notes. He touches Naruto’s muscled chest. His body is tight and toned. It’s unfair.

He’s practically bouncing in Naruto’s lap. It’s really good. Naruto holds on to him very tightly and Sasuke finds himself hoping he’ll have fingerprint bruises on his hips tomorrow, some proof this happened besides his own memory.

He doesn’t want Naruto to know how much he absolutely fucking loves this. It gives Naruto too much power over him. Still, he can’t hold back a few noises, gasping as he takes him deeper, harder.

It’s fine if they’re just fucking. It’s not fine if Sasuke’s the pathetic idiot who caught _feelings._ He doesn’t want to think about that right now.

He fists his hand around his cock as he moves, distracting himself, and then Naruto’s hand comes up and covers his, jerking him off. Sasuke lets him.

“Sasuke,” Naruto says again.

Sasuke covers Naruto’s mouth with his hand. He doesn’t want him to say anything. Naruto glares at him and sucks Sasuke’s fingers into his mouth, biting at them. Sasuke hates that he thinks it’s hot.

Naruto feels so good inside of him. His hand feels so good _on_ him. Sasuke wants him so bad, wants _this_ , chasing the red-hot arousal that curls in his gut. It sparks through him, electric and terrifying. He’s furious at himself for stooping to this level. He loves every second of it. If Naruto weren’t straight, this would be a very good hookup.

Sasuke comes on Naruto’s cock, into his hand, shuddering against his shoulder. Naruto comes almost immediately after, and Sasuke gets the impression that he was trying to hold out. He’s vaguely impressed.

And. It’s over. Sasuke climbs off of him and goes into the bathroom, slamming the door. He cleans himself off with a washcloth and ties on his robe.

When he goes back out, Naruto hasn’t moved. Sasuke throws the wet washcloth at his face.

Naruto lets it fall limply onto his stomach before blinking up at Sasuke.

“Hey, are you hungry?” he says. “Do you wanna get some food?”

“I have a ton of studying to do,” Sasuke says.

“Oh, okay. We can go to the library.”

“No. It’s late and cold. I’m not going anywhere. Get dressed.”

Naruto starts pulling on his clothes, but he’s very slow about it. “If you finish studying tomorrow, maybe we can get lunch or something.”

“Maybe,” Sasuke lies. “I have a pretty busy week coming up.”

Naruto lingers at the door. “Okay. So I’ll text you?”

Sasuke rolls his eyes. “You always do,” he says, and shuts the door in Naruto’s face.   

 

—

 

Sasuke was worried about Naruto acting normal, when really, he should have been worried about himself all along.

It was stupid to fuck Naruto. He can’t stop thinking about it. He can’t stop thinking about Naruto’s body, and his hands and his face, and how he wishes he’d stayed afterwards and wrapped his arms around Sasuke and fallen asleep in his stupidly small bed.

He doesn’t think he can handle Naruto acting all buddy buddy with him after that.

He manages to avoid Naruto for almost a week, with increasingly flimsy excuses of homework and studying, but when Naruto texts him on Saturday saying _your assignments are turned in come celebrate at our party!!_ he knows that he can’t say no, or Naruto will know something is up.

And Sasuke doesn’t want him to know anything.  

So he goes. It will be in public, he tells himself. It will be fine. There’s no way they’ll get back to _Sasuke’s_ dorm, so they can’t hook up. He really doesn’t want to see Naruto acting straight around his bros, but he supposes they have to hit the reset button eventually, and it’s better if he’s the one to do it.

When he gets to the party, Naruto pulls him into a tight hug.

“Hey man,” he says. “I’m so glad you came.”

“Let go of me,” Sasuke says.

Naruto gives him a final squeeze and releases him. “Wanna do tequila shots?”

“I don’t like tequila.”

Naruto is already salting his hand. “Oh, but have you ever tried it with salt and lime?”

“No,” Sasuke admits.

“It makes it taste so much better. Here!” Naruto pushes a shot towards Sasuke. “You can have my salt.” He offers Sasuke his hand. To lick? Sasuke stares at him.

“No thanks,” he says after a minute, and salts his own hand.

Naruto’s right. It does make the shot taste a lot better. He does three of them. No particular reason.

The house is packed with people. The frat’s parties are always popular, but this one is extra crowded. Naruto seems to know everyone, as usual, but he stays glued to Sasuke’s side.

“Hey, Naruto!” Kiba appears in a doorway. “There you are. We’re doing body shots in the other room. Come see where Hinata can balance the shot glass!”

Naruto slings his arm around Sasuke’s shoulders and pulls him into his side. “Oh man, _we_ should do body shots!”

“No.” Sasuke shrugs Naruto’s arm off and steps away.

Naruto keeps touching Sasuke, though. It’s weird. Naruto’s a pretty handsy drunk, but that usually means that he claps Sasuke on the shoulder a few times and wants to learn some judo moves. Not like, touching his arms and caressing his back. At one point, Naruto walks up behind Sasuke and puts an arm around his waist and Sasuke jumps out of his skin.

He chugs the cheap beer as a distraction.

When they wind up in Naruto’s room, on Naruto’s bed, Sasuke is drunk enough that he doesn’t remember how they got there, just that Naruto is close and warm and Sasuke can’t stop himself from kissing him. It’s the first time they’ve actually kissed. Sasuke doesn’t think about that. Naruto is a good kisser, he’s thrilled to discover, even when he tastes like alcohol.

Naruto sort of rolls Sasuke onto his back, so that he’s over him, lying on top of him, making out on Naruto’s patterned bedspread. Sasuke maybe makes a little noise. Naruto’s weight feels good. He’s drunk and weak and he wants Naruto with his whole body.

Naruto undoes Sasuke’s skinny jeans, reaching for his dick, and Sasuke arches into his touch, grabbing at his shoulders. Naruto’s breath is hot on his neck as Sasuke pants, closing his eyes. He doesn’t ever want this to end.

Naruto sucks on his neck as he strokes him, hand trapped awkwardly between their bodies, and Sasuke gasps, feeling loose and wanton. He’s drunk. They’re both drunk.

Sasuke has always bruised easily. Naruto’s going to leave a mark if he keeps doing that, he thinks, and fierce possessive pleasure soars through him at the thought of Naruto marking him.

Then he slams into ice-cold reality. If Naruto gives him a hickey, it’s proof that this happened, visible proof that people will see. They’ll know it was Naruto. _Naruto_ will be able to see it.

Naruto is drunk. Sasuke promised himself he wasn’t doing this anymore.

He shoves Naruto off, scrambling off the bed and quickly doing up his pants.

“What’s wrong?” Naruto asks, blinking at him with dumb concern. His kiss-swollen lips make Sasuke’s heart ache.

“Maybe I don’t want to be your drunk sure thing,” he snarls, and storms out.

Walking home, Sasuke isn’t sure why he’s so worried about other people seeing Naruto all over him. It just seems easier if they’re the only two that know. Once Naruto’s done, they can just go back to how things were before.

Naruto might feel weird if other people knew, though. People might assume they’re dating, and he’d always be worried about that when he was with Sasuke. He might not want to be his friend anymore. Sasuke doesn’t want that. He never wanted that. He just wanted Naruto.

 

—

 

Sasuke wakes up in the afternoon. He’s hungry, but not hungover. He checks his phone and sees eleven text messages from Naruto, which is a restrained number, and none of them are calling him a bastard. Sasuke is immediately suspicious.

Most of them are apologies and asking if Sasuke’s okay. Some of them are longer, but he’s a little too tired to read those.

He’s about to text Naruto back when there’s a knock on his door.

When he opens it, Naruto is standing on the other side, looking worried.

“What are you doing here?” Sasuke says. He feels exhausted. He’s also distinctly aware that he’s wearing his pajama pants and no shirt, but it kind of feels like admitting defeat to step inside and pull on a t-shirt now, so he just stays there, standing in the doorway. He’s furiously glad that he used a cold spoon to get rid of his hickey before going to bed last night.

“I thought you were ignoring me,” Naruto says. He keeps his eyes on Sasuke’s face.

“I just woke up.”

“Oh.” Naruto fidgets. “Well, are you okay?”

“Clearly.” Sasuke wants him to go away. He wants to lie in bed and stare at the wall.

“I wanted to talk about last night,” Naruto says.

Sasuke does not want to talk about last night. “Don’t worry about it. I was pretty drunk.”

People have bad judgement when they’re drunk, right? Sasuke certainly does. Hopefully Naruto will let him play off his freak-out as just another drunken misunderstanding.

To his dismay, Naruto looks even more upset.

“I’m really sorry,” Naruto says.

“It’s fine.”

“Sasuke. I really don’t see you that way.”

Sasuke physically feels those words lance through him like a knife.

“Don’t worry,” he says. “I know.”

He knows. He really knows. But that doesn’t change how painful it is to hear it out loud.

_Reset button_ , he reminds himself.

Naruto rubs the back of his neck. “And I’m really sorry I didn’t realize how drunk you were.”

“It’s fine. Let it go.”

“Okay.” Naruto still looks worried. “Well, are you hungover? We can get food. Or I can bring you some, if you don’t feel like going out.”

Sasuke sighs. _Reset button. Reset button_. “Yeah, sure. Let me get dressed.”

 

—

 

Sasuke expects that to be the end of it, but for the next few days, Naruto keeps acting all touchy-feely with him. It’s like his hands have magnets that are attracted to Sasuke’s skin.

Naruto puts his arm around Sasuke when they're with their friends and links their arms when they’re walking and touches Sasuke on the elbow and the shoulder and strokes his hair. Sasuke keeps ducking away and glaring at him. What the fuck.

Sasuke is doing his best to reset their friendship, and he _doesn’t_ want to talk about it. He tries to communicate that he’s not interested in whatever this new _thing_ is without actually broaching the subject out loud. _Off, off, no_ , he thinks loudly, shrugging off Naruto’s hands when they hand on him. But it takes a toll, and he didn’t have much patience for this to begin with.

He avoids spending time with him in private. Public is okay. Sasuke doesn’t want to lose Naruto’s friendship, and that’s the hardest part, really, because if he didn’t care about Naruto he could just cut ties with him and walk away.

He does care, though. He cares too much.

The breaking point comes a couple of days later when Naruto grabs his hand when he meets him after class.

Sasuke yanks it away. Absolutely not. He’s stretched thin and he’s tired to the bone and he can’t deal with Naruto trying to fucking _hold his hand_ in the middle of campus. If looks could kill, Naruto would be obliterated.

“Sasuke—” Naruto starts, confused.

“Not. Now,” Sasuke grits out, and turns on his heel and walks away. He lets Naruto follow him back to his dorm room and waits until the door closes behind him before whirling to face him.

“What the _fuck_ was that?” he starts, getting up in Naruto’s space.

Naruto still looks like he doesn’t get it. He looks confused and a little hurt. It makes Sasuke angrier.

“I was...holding your hand?” he says.

“Why the _hell_ would you do that?” Sasuke is seething.

“Why wouldn’t I?”

He’s so fucking stupid. Of course Sasuke fell for a naïve asshole who thinks he can have his cake and eat it too. He thinks he can fuck Sasuke _and_ be his friend because he assumes that Sasuke will always be there for him in whatever capacity he wants. Ready for him to use and discard as he pleases.

“You can’t have it both ways, moron!”

“Both—what? I thought we were like...a thing.”

“We aren’t a _thing._ You don’t hold hands with your _experiment_ in public!”

Naruto looks inexplicably crushed. “You let me fuck you,” he says.

Sasuke stares at him. “You haven’t ever casually hooked up with someone?”

“Yeah, but like, I thought it meant something.”

Sirens start to blare in Sasuke’s mind. No no no no.

“You’re _straight_ ,” he insists.

“We fucked,” Naruto repeats. He looks crestfallen. This isn’t how Sasuke expected this conversation to go at all. He feels like he’s losing his mind.

“Straight guys experiment all the time in college,” he says, aware that he’s grasping at straws. “That’s like the punchline to every joke.”

“Yeah,” Naruto says. “But you’re the most important person in my life and I want to spend every second of every day with you.”

Sasuke can barely hear him over the screaming in his head.

“Do you not...like me?” Naruto says quietly.

Sasuke kisses him so hard he knocks him backwards a few steps. They thump against the door, and Naruto grabs at him, pulling him closer. Sasuke feels absolutely wild.

Naruto has such a nice mouth. Sasuke’s wanted so badly to touch it. He kisses him deep, holding his head, fierce and almost desperate. He can’t help it. Naruto’s hair is soft, and he gasps when Sasuke sucks on his neck, pressing him hard against the door.

“Are you giving me a hickey?” Naruto says, like he can’t believe it.

“Shut up,” Sasuke says. He bites Naruto’s shoulder. He gets to mark him up this time. Naruto is his.

“Stop telling me to shut up. You’re so bossy.”

“I am not.” Sasuke glares at him.

“Yes you are! You didn’t let me talk at all last time, and I wanted to—”

Sasuke shuts him up with another kiss. He doesn’t want to think about last time. He only wants to think about Naruto’s tongue in his mouth and Naruto’s arms around him, pressing him against his body like he wants him. He does want him. He’s hard already.

Heat curls in Sasuke’s stomach and he bites at Naruto’s lip as he touches his dick through his pants. God. He can’t believe it.

“So you do like me,” Naruto says, with half a smile.

“God, you’re an idiot,” Sasuke mutters.

They fuck on the bed.

Naruto stubbornly insists on fingering him this time. He’s gentle about it, and so careful that Sasuke starts bitching at him. He gets the impression that Naruto’s done some research.

“Research is a good thing, Sasuke,” Naruto says.

“If you don’t hurry up I’m gonna cut your dick off.”

“You wouldn’t. You love my dick,” Naruto says, and then looks a little shocked at himself, like he can’t believe that just came out of his mouth.

He’s right, though. Naruto fucks into him and Sasuke can’t help the noises he makes. He rakes his nails down Naruto’s back, clutching at his shoulders, his breath catching in his throat as Naruto rolls his hips.

Naruto looks amazed, watching him, his lips parted and eyes wide.

“You weren’t this loud last time,” he says.

“You weren’t this annoying last time,” Sasuke says, but the effect is sort of lost as he trails off with a gasp.

“It’s fucking hot,” Naruto says.

Naruto makes him feel so good. Sasuke can’t believe he’s been missing out on this. He pushes back against him, arching, wanting more, more. Naruto’s cock feels thick and right.

“You’re fucking _hot_ ,” Naruto repeats emphatically.

He’s one to fucking talk. Sasuke runs his hands over his chest, his arms, touching him as much as he can. He’s not worried about showing his hand anymore. Naruto can know all he likes. Naruto wants him.

“I’ve been thinking about this,” Naruto says, and Sasuke makes a noise in his throat. “Wanted to see what you look like when you come.”

“You’ve seen that already,” Sasuke answers, before he can really think about it.

“Wanted to see it again.”

“Your memory’s that shitty?” Sasuke says, as though he hasn’t been thinking about exactly the same thing for three weeks straight.

Naruto grins at him. He’s breathing hard and a little sweaty. He’s fucking gorgeous. “If I say yes, will you let me fuck you again?”

“Greedy bastard,” Sasuke mutters, biting his lip as Naruto’s cock slides just right against his prostate. He fists a hand in the sheets, desperate for something to hold onto. “Yeah,” he breathes. “I’ll think about it.”

“I was thinking maybe tonight,” Naruto says.

“Jesus, Naruto, can you live in the moment?”

“Planning ahead is a valuable skill,” Naruto tells him, kissing his neck.  

It’s not fair that Naruto can be so flippantly chatty while he’s sending Sasuke’s soul straight into the stratosphere. As far as he’s concerned, Naruto can fuck him whenever he wants. He’s aware that he’s being really loud, but he’s not really concerned with keeping himself under control.

Naruto kisses him again, and Sasuke mostly gasps against his mouth. Naruto has a hand around his cock, stroking him, and Sasuke doesn’t understand how one person can make him feel all of this. He’s losing his head a little.

“Holy shit,” Naruto breathes, watching him with blown-wide eyes.

Sasuke curls up against him when he comes, digging his nails into Naruto’s back. Naruto lasts for only a few more thrusts, pressing his face against Sasuke’s neck and breathing hot against his skin. Sasuke shudders as Naruto comes inside him. He wants to do this without a condom. He wants to do a million things.

“So it seems like you do like me,” Naruto says, as they lie together afterwards, his arms wrapped lazily around Sasuke. “I mean, you haven’t kicked me out this time.”

Sasuke can tell he’s serious underneath his teasing tone. He leans up to look him full in the face.

“You don’t have to worry about that,” he says. He likes Naruto more than he’s ever liked anyone. He can’t imagine liking anyone else this much.

Naruto starts to smile. “You don’t have to worry about it either,” he says, hugging Sasuke tight. “Ever. I mean—I really like you.”

Sasuke hides his smile against Naruto’s shoulder. “You should stay.” He doesn’t have anything he has to do for the rest of the afternoon. He hopes Naruto doesn’t either. He hopes Naruto won’t mind sleeping in a twin XL bed with him. He wants him to spend the night.

“Yeah,” Naruto says. He kisses Sasuke’s head. “I think I will.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos and comments are really appreciated. <3
> 
> Sequel with Naruto’s POV up next ;)


End file.
